Personal Space

Girlfriend, if 2020 did anything, I think it gave us a peek into our mental stability. So many things have happened in the past nine months and it's honestly mind-boggling that we are still standing strong, somewhat. The pandemic brought about mixed feelings as we encountered tragedies and success, without so much as a chance to breathe and process it all. I don't know about you but I've catered to myself a lot during this down time.

I found myself reading more, disconnecting from social media, not responding to text messages or phone calls as I saw fit. And honestly, I don't see anything wrong with that. I think in the world of social media where there is immediate access to so many platforms, it is imperative to press pause. Throughout the tragedies of the pandemic, racial tension, politics, it's been a lot to process. If you're not careful, you will break. It's a conversation that many don't have, but it's something that whether or not we verbalize it, we need to individually pay attention to.

I love being around my friends and family (until my social meter runs out), but I enjoy my alone time just the same. I distinctly remember after the death of George Floyd, I chose not to watch the videos that surfaced; and when I did, it tore me down. As much as I had my girlfriends to chat with, there was one particular night where I could not fight the funk. I just wasn't in the mood. I needed my personal space. As much as I was trying to accommodate my friends being on the phone, I realized that I needed time to myself to process what had happened and bring myself to a center. It was imperative that I listened to my mind and body. Do I think support is important? Absolutely, but sometimes you have to allow yourself the time you need.

I was watching a sermon recently by my sis SJR, and she said there are some things that if we train ourselves, we can do without, but at our core being, we cannot live without. Human connection, however, is something that we need. God didn't purposely leave Adam in the garden with a ton of animals and plants, so they could all look cute together. I mean, he needed a partner. Same for us. Aside from our families which some of us didn't have our families around because of the proposed risk of infection, most of us were without interaction from friends, acquaintances, and coworkers for months. It takes a toll on one's mental health.

Balance is key! We can't live without others no matter how hard we try because we were not made that way. However, we have to be kind enough to ourselves to set boundaries and know when we've had enough. Just this past week, with the unfortunate rulings of the murder of Breonna Taylor, I've found myself getting numb yet again because of the unjust behaviors of the injustice system. Even though I haven't signed out of social media, I am careful about my time on social media apps because if I'm not careful, I'll crawl back into a dark space. The truth is, we all deserve a break; a mental health break. I've learned to give my friends their space as well. We're grown and all live separate lives. Some are in relationships, have businesses, have children, have exams to study for, have families to cater to etc. Sometimes, a check-in is all you need. You can't unfairly demand from others and expect them to respect your boundaries. It doesn't work that way.

I've come to appreciate this period in my life. When I need my personal space and downtime, it's just that. Some may say it's being selfish, but I think we work hard enough to give ourselves a well-needed break. Protecting your personal space is apart of self-care and we all reserve rights to that.